In the eating disorder education and recovery community, eating disorders are often referred to as “Ed.” It’s a personification of this disease… a way for you to separate yourself from the raging asshole inside who tells you that you’re good enough.
You can literally say “Go fuck yourself, Ed” to help you go on about your day.
Truthfully, Ed is the biggest jackass that I’ve ever met. He evolved from the fears and insecurities of your past, which have spilled over into your present. His presence often begins with trauma, usually taking the form of abuse from people who you thought loved you. Maybe people made fun of your body. Maybe people continuously told you that you aren’t enough… not smart enough, not pretty enough, not good enough. Maybe you were violated. Maybe – just maybe – you constantly hear the voices of your past telling you how won’t amount to anything and simply aren’t lovable. These are the voices, thoughts, and feelings that created Ed…
And Ed is a fucking liar.
That’s what it comes down to: he’s a liar. Liars have no business being in your life because you control your destiny. You control your home life, your career, your relationships, and your goals. You control your boundaries and your beliefs about yourself. You make the decisions on where you go from here. You control who you allow in your life – including Ed.
You are in the driver’s seat. You are in control.
So tell Ed to pack up because he is no longer needed. Tell him that he can take his lies and shove ’em because those beliefs no longer serve you. Maybe they did at one point, and that’s okay. But you are ready to take yourself back. You are ready to take back control.